Who would of thought? In a place like this?{Vicki}

[Rivaxorus]

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[atrb=background,http://i559.photobucket.com/albums/ss40/Milkyface4455/Zephard2-1.jpg] I had expected her to react didn't, but she didn't. She kept blaming herself for this, it was kind of strange. I looked at her as her expression changed to something sad. I had almost completely forgotten where we were. I looked around then back at Vicki, sitting with a large sigh. "I'm okay, stop shoving yourself into depression all the time, it makes me feel like it's my fault." I muttered, it may have come out wrong, but at least it was better then saying I hate you or, come on that's not it? I shook my head, this was way too confusing, trying to find words to say to her that didn't sound funny or strange, let alone corny. What the hell was going on here in the first place? Suddenly I felt something push me into Vicki. Tumbling into her my face turned red, yet I knew there was no one there. I may have heard a little bit of a child's laughter but that was it. I blinked and smiled laughing at Vicki. "Sorry, I....I don't know what to make of this. You and me." I told her. Even though it wasn't quiet clear, I didn't know what to make of my words for the time being right now.

[lidarose]

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[atrb=background,http://i559.photobucket.com/albums/ss40/Milkyface4455/Vicki2.jpg] "Shoving myself into depression? Me? Never!" Vicki said. Okay, so it was true she felt really guilty for the fact that she couldn't seem to help Zephard much, if at all, but still! "And of course it's not your fault. You didn't choose to randomly faint." She smiled sweetly, and was going to say more, when, oops! Zephard bumped into her again, quite literally, almost as if an invisible force had pushed him. Vicki stumbled a little under his falling into her, but quickly regained her balance to notice him blushing. "I...don't know what to make of this, either," Vicki admitted, now blushing, herself. "I just know...I'd gladly die for you and I trust you completely...and I really care about you..." Should she be the one to say the three words first? No. She wasn't sure her feelings for him were love, or just lust. How could she possibly be sure of a thing like that? She just knew she felt stronger toward Zephard than she ever did anyone else. She gulped. "I...I...Are we...more than friends?" She was wondering that for a while, but hadn't actually asked it aloud, and blushed so deeply after asking that her coat looked hot pink, rather than the usual white.

[Rivaxorus]

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[atrb=background,http://i559.photobucket.com/albums/ss40/Milkyface4455/Zephard2-1.jpg] It was obvious thoughts like this couldn't be organized so easily. I didn't know what to do, I felt like the only thing I could do was trust my heart. It was beating faster then it should. I smiled at her as she made another statement, was it so hard for both of us to say it. were we really that unsure about our feelings towards each other. I moved closer and closed my eye putting my head around her shoulder in what would be considered a hug. "Vicki....uh...Will you? Love me?" The words almost sounded foreign. Yet, I said them anyway, I wanted to hear her answer. The truth as well, this wasn't something I could turn down for some time. If I was turned down, then I would just have to go back to sneaking around in the shadows. I heard the laugh again, but decided to ignore it, I had no idea what was going on and why I had seen those two strange things. I flicked my ears and tail, waiting for an answer from Vicki, these were the most longest moments in my life, I knew my confession had sounded stupid, but there wasn't really much else I could say was there?

[lidarose]

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[atrb=background,http://i559.photobucket.com/albums/ss40/Milkyface4455/Vicki2.jpg] Vicki's heart pounded in her chest as she waited for Zephard to respond. When he smiled, it beat harder. When he asked if she would love him, her heart felt like it would leap out of her chest and dance around Zephard. She blushed even harder, her fur now looking a deep red rather than hot pink. "Love...sex? Or love...love?" her dopey brain asked. It was kind of a joke, but she didn't know...some wolves would say love in preference to the "s" term so it would sound more romantic. She laughed like a dork and blushed even deeper. "B-because...like...I...already do love you." It wasn't until she finally said it that she knew it was true. Her heart seemed to explode into 1,000 fireworks when she did, and she noticed now that Zephard looked even more handsome to her than before, not that that was possible or anything. How could a wolf like him possibly love her? It was just too good to be true. She closed her eyes and opened them to see if it was a dream, but, of course, it wasn't. It was too good for even a dream. So, she took the one action she could think of: she licked Zephard on the nose. "You are just too cute~!" She giggled lightly, feeling as though she could fly, even though she didn't try to. She said the words once more for good measure. "I love you."

[Rivaxorus]

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[atrb=background,http://i559.photobucket.com/albums/ss40/Milkyface4455/Zephard2-1.jpg] My whole entire face turned red when she said the word "Sex". It wasn't really the word I was looking for was it? Not that I had a problem with the word, it just seemed a bit out of character for Vicki. Yet she said she would love me, so that set my heart at ease finally for a long time. I laughed in relief for a few seconds then back away a bit, pressing my face into her chest fur. She was warm, it felt good to have somebody at my side for once, in this unforgiving hell. Somebody who could understand my feelings. I almost felt like crying, it reminded me so much of Taruna, even if it wasn't a true love, they were all my friends slaughtered in front of me. Yet, why did I feel no desire for revenge towards Gabe? I wanted to stay here forever, at her side. Yet, I couldn't think of anything else to say, what was I supposed to say, let me have sex with you? That was one phrase that was off-limits for my tongue. I just wanted to feel her next to me, I know it would be some time before we could really be together. Maybe when the ghost wolves finally had salvation that time would come. Yet this was pretty much forbidden in most eyes.

[lidarose]

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[atrb=background,http://i559.photobucket.com/albums/ss40/Milkyface4455/Vicki2.jpg] Vicki felt her heart beat even faster as Zephard rested his head against her chest, and she slowly looked down and licked the top of his head. However, after a few seconds, she backed away. "...Zephard..." she said airily, her voice barely above a whisper. There was pain in her eyes as she turned away, no longer looking at him. It would be hard to say what she had to if she was looking him in those dazzling purple eyes of his. "I love you, and I wish I could be here with you...forever. I wish I could bear a litter of puppies. I wish...I wish things were different." She shook her head and sighed, slowly saying her words. "But I have to get back to my pack. Someone might be injured, or...or sick." Her voice broke and she quickly cleared her throat. "S-so...I ask you...before I have to go..." She turned back to Zephard and looked him in the eye. "What do we do now?" She felt like she could scarcely breathe. She wanted to leave Waru pack and just travel with Zephard for the rest of her life, but when she thought about Sacher and Gabe, how they might be hurt badly and she wouldn't be able to save either of them? She knew she couldn't do that. She also knew Gabe would die before letting Zephard join their pack. So, where were they to go from there?

[Rivaxorus]

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[atrb=background,http://i559.photobucket.com/albums/ss40/Milkyface4455/Zephard2-1.jpg] I felt her inch away, this would happen, yes I knew very well it would. I knew she had another pack to take care of, I knew this feeling. The feeling of having to protect the pack no matter what, even if it meant you would be betrayed by them yourselves. When I was part of the Kuki pack, all I wanted to do was protect them, yet I was turned away, coldly with a passion that was like no other. I could remember feeling the winter air crisp, as I walked the path alone, nothing but sadness. I could feel the alone sadness tearing at my soul, A tear fell from my eye but I hide it anyway before raising my head to look at her. "A pack, is your family, whether there are wolves there who hate you or not. You know healers can have pups as long as someone takes over until they have them, plus I know plenty of males who would claim to be the father for you, unless they grow suspicious of their colors. Then again it's all up to you." I said, it was something I said to myself more often then not. I had been invited to look at the stars with Velvet, the new alpha since I had been driven from the Kuki pack, she seemed strong enough with her reasons. She said it wouldn't just be me there, so I would be fine tonight. After all, who wouldn't want to look at the stars with an alpha who was the first wolf ever to cling to the shadows. Although I still wanted to hear her answer, if she said no then it would just have to wait for another time. It was just ringing inside the top of my head. I wanted to know, now that she was my mate, that was the end of it, I would have to find away to see her every night, or even every day. Yet, with everything going on, it would be some time.

[lidarose]

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[atrb=background,http://i559.photobucket.com/albums/ss40/Milkyface4455/Vicki2.jpg] "But...what would their lives be like?" Vicki asked. "I-I can't...bring pups into the world if...if they'd only suffer." She then took a deep, shaky breath. "I don't know...If I'd be able to give birth to healthy pups, anyway." She closed her eyes to not let her tears escape. "My mother...I was the only one who survived. The rest of the litter was still-born. I'm not sure why, but...If that kind of thing is hereditary..." She bit her lip. "I tell you this so you know. I mean...Do you want to risk it?" She looked him in the eye. "My mother died right after giving birth to me and my dead siblings." She took in a sharp breath. "Whatever caused that...I might have it if it's genetic..." She shook slightly. "C-can we really do this?" she wondered. She looked at Zephard apologetically. "This is not a decision to make lightly. We need to think about what would be best for them now. What would happen if I got pregnant and the pups were born healthily? Would I be able to sneak out and see you with them? Would they even know you as their father?" These were difficult questions to ask, but she needed to ask them. She wanted nothing more than to birth Zephard's pups, but she couldn't do it if it meant they would suffer.

[Rivaxorus]

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[atrb=background,http://i559.photobucket.com/albums/ss40/Milkyface4455/Zephard2-1.jpg] I looked at her, was fear all that controlled these lives. These souls that were tensed into oblivion? Was it true that certain things weren't meant to be. Maybe the meeting tonight would give me a chance to re join my pack, then again that would make it worse, mates in different packs was almost completely forbidden. Suddenly the pure white pup appeared to one side of Vicki, "Zephard, if you love her, you would take risks, she's scared, but what else is there to do?" She giggled after though as the other black one appeared on the other side. This was confusing, "Oh shut up Yuki, this pathetic filth doesn't know the meaning of the word love." It hissed. Yuki turned to him, "Hey stop being mean to Zephard you big meany!" He growled at her, "Make me" Then they both floated away. I looked at the ground for a few seconds, I didn't know what those two were, but what Yuki said was true. For some odd reason I had a feeling they were a part of my soul. I looked at her, "The pups would be fine not knowing who their father was. Even if you lied to them, if they were safe, that would be enough to put my heart at ease. And, the risk would be worth it if even only one pup survives. My dark element over rides the ghost gene so none of them will be risking expulsion from the pack. Even if I will not see them as my own pups, maybe even just as their friend, it would be enough." I told her shaking my head. A risk was one thing life had taken upon them. The wolves that were here took risks for a reason, this was one of them.

[lidarose]

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[atrb=background,http://i559.photobucket.com/albums/ss40/Milkyface4455/Vicki2.jpg] "I...want them to know you..." Vicki managed out. "But...I can't see how it would be possible for them to even see you unless I...Unless I ran away with you..." Her voice was shaky, barely above a whisper. She knew she couldn't run away with him, and so did he, so she didn't point that out. Instead, she walked closer to him, almost touching his nose with hers. "If you're sure you can handle this...and you're ready, then...then so am I." She smiled. "This could potentially be the best night of my life." Her smile then fell and her eyes looked intense. "I don't know what you keep looking at like you're seeing a ghost, or what whatever you see is telling you, but I can see just the slightest flash of pain in your eyes, as if they're saying something awful." She glanced away for a moment, then met Zephard's eyes again. "But, if you're absolutely certain this is what you want..." She smiled sweetly. "Then show me. Make the first move. If you're not, though...then we can wait until I next see you, if there is a next time. It all depends on you now...because I know I'm ready." She wasn't completely sure she was until she said it. True, she hadn't known Zephard long, and it would be considered way too early by some standards, but to her, this was it. She loved him. She'd prove it to him, if he wanted her to. The ultimate love: bearing his children, even knowing it might kill her.

[Rivaxorus]

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[atrb=background,http://i559.photobucket.com/albums/ss40/Milkyface4455/Zephard2-1.jpg] I could hear the words in my head, this was a possibility that I could not pass up. This dance repeated itself for generations. The term itself was nothing more then a way of life. I looked into her eyes, coming closer to her. "Even if it means they'll never see them, as long as they're happy with you. It's better off they do not know of an exiled rogue who wishes to return to his pack. Even if I was aloud to return, we would be in more trouble then we are now. The reason of this is.....well, I would join the pack after this wretched war was over, but I wouldn't be able to stand to the one who took everything away from me. Gabryl, I hold no grudge, but he slaughtered all of them, all of my friend, even my former mate, although she wasn't as amazing as you. Yet, you let this torn piece of meat get close to you, I would be fine, as long as they are happy." I said, the words rolled off my tongue like a song did. I felt my heart beat quicken, this was what I wanted? This what what she desired? Was it really the fate that we had in the awful place of a world. The wind blew against my fur, I felt the ripples through my body as I looked at her. I didn't want to if she didn't want me to. My head turned to the side as I looked down the forest, a flick of something caught my eye. A sickly fae looked at me, then vanished into the shadows, it must have been night already. I lowered my head. "Next time, would be better, meet me at the nothern hills. If I'm not there, wait for me, unless of course you change your mind, this soul is used to being left alone in the darkness." I said turning back towards her. That wolf must have been Velvet so if Vicki saw it as well she should have understood where I was coming from. I shook my head and faded away, becoming the wind as the mist and washing away towards the meeting.

[lidarose]

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[atrb=background,http://i559.photobucket.com/albums/ss40/Milkyface4455/Vicki2.jpg] "G-Gabryl?" Vicki stuttered. He murdered Zephard's friends and former mate?! Even though Zephard claimed he held no grudge against him...How could he not? Because he's that amazing. He may be a death and ghost element wolf, but it's just not in his nature to hold grudges or hate. But Gabryl...How could she possibly look at him again, knowing what he's done? "Well, it's...Good of you not to hold a grudge..." Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a small flicker of movement, but couldn't make out what it was in the forest. "The northern hills...got it," Vicki said. She wasn't disappointed that they wouldn't be doing it this time. Well, not terribly, at least. It would be all the more special if they waited, right? "Of course I won't change my mind. When I say something, I mean it." And then Zephard turned his back on her and faded away. Vicki sighed. He was gone barely a second, and she already missed him. I need to get back to my den, she reminded herself sharply. I can't go back, after learning what Gabe did! You have to go back. It's your pack, like it or not. Someone might be hurt or sick. You said that yourself, no? She gritted her teeth and slowly, reluctantly, walked away, back toward her den, her home.

[Rivaxorus]

Finished